Dances with Yaks

The Road to Istanbul

Wed, 25 Jul 2012 19:18:26 +0100

Leaving Sophia I headed south east along what was at first a good road but it soon became the same old two lane potholed strip of melting Tarmac. Looking to the near distance it looked like a silvered mirror that melted into the sky. Heat haze as I have never seen before. It is over 40 C here and I’m about to melt along with the Tarmac.

My sat nav has decided that what ever road I take is good so I resorted to using the road signs which proved to be mistake. The road signs agree with my sat nav and any road will take me anywhere. So I used my compass to judge which road to follow and I was soon at the Turkish boarder.

At the Bulgarian side I was asked by a man with a machine gun, “Have you had trouble with Bulgarian police?”
“No they were wonderful.”
“Good, you may go”

Getting into Turkey was easy enough but involved me running around a lot. Queue here, go and get your visa there, then come back here to have the visa stamped. Then through customs, I need a geen card, what’s a green card? Go over there, I pay some happy dude some money he stamps a green piece of paper and gives it to me, then back to customs, to wait in the bloody heat for an hour talking to a Polish trucker watching some poor man having his car ransacked then having to put everything back himself until the only customs officer working that day gives my car a once over. He asks if I have any explosives, I reply in the negative and he says I can go.

I’m in Turkey and I’m still a free man, I didn’t mention the gas cylinders or the 20 litres of petrol I had in the back but I really did not want to spend any more time standing in that reinforced concrete heat.

Once on the other side I pulled over and dug out the Turkish map, rolled a fag then off on great roads to Istanbul.

On the road to Sophia

Wed, 25 Jul 2012 18:24:43 +0100

Bulgaria is a wonderful country with what look like large planes of fertile ground surrounded by distant mountains. The people are also wonderfully friendly and hospitable. I passed mile after mile of sun flowers all looking to the east, my direction of travel.

Bulgaria has few dual carriage ways and the roads such as they are have surfaces that range from the good to the dangerous. Apart from the pot holes I saw a foot high lump of tarmac growing in the middle of the road. Luckily I missed this.

Bulgarian drivers come in two varieties the hares and the tortoises. The tortoises all drive at a steady 40mph or less while the hares race along performing stunning driving feats. It is common practice in most of eastern Europe to use the hard shoulder as a undertaking lane if the other two are occupied, you get used to this given a little time. In Bulgaria the hares have taken this tactic to new heights and extended this manoeuvre to all roads. So far I have been overtaken while overtaking twice. Once on the outside and ounce a hare skilfully forced his way through the middle nearly sending me off the road. I have become a tortoise this game is far to rich for me, I can not match these masters of the high speed manoeuvre.

Some times I wish I had cameras for eyes, on the way I saw an elderly lady with a rope around her forehead towing a cart filled with vegetables which was being steered by an elderly man coming up the rear. They crossed the road oblivious to the traffic straight out of some Russian novel or Van Gough painting. There were other such sights but most had opted for a horse.

Once in Sophia I decided to stay for the night and booked into a hotel. That evening was spent talking to a very nice barmaid who told me all her troubles and how she had seen signs that suggested great changes were afoot. This breaks the time honoured bar staff/customer relationship, it should be the other way around, me singing my blues to her. But I’m no man to stand by convention.

The morning news was not good, a suicide bomber had blown up a bus on the Bulgarian Black sea coast. The Israelis are blaming Iran, an American passport has been found. I hope every one stays calm.

While checking out of the hotel the woman behind the desk asked how long I was staying in Sophia, I told her I was leaving that day, she replied “Good we don’t want no trouble”. Lost in translation I hope.

I had a quick look around Sophia and then hit the road south for Istanbul. This is when I discovered what my sat nav means by partial coverage.

Eating Serbian burgers in Belgrade. Arnie and our host.

Sun, 22 Jul 2012 05:43:55 +0100

Eating Serbian burgers in Belgrade. Arnie and our host.

Serbia

Sat, 21 Jul 2012 16:50:00 +0100

The drive into Serbia proved interesting. Motorways with a silky smooth surface would with very little warning turn to a normal two way road full of potholes and wavy surfaces that made it feel more like being at sea in a small boat rather than in a car on a major highway. The trick to dealing with the sudden transition is to get back in you seat as quickly as possible and take the tiller in a firm grip. Luckily these roads were mostly empty. It was a long drive and night had fallen before I reached Belgrade.

At a small lay-by on the way into Belgrade I ran into another rally team. They were Arnie and Guy I can’t recall their team name but they had been sponsored by Chevrolet. My plan was to arrive in town and hunt down a random hotel but Arnie and Guy had been invited to stay at the flat of a Serbian Chevrolet fan and they were kind enough to ask if I would like to come along. When we arrived we were very warmly welcomed then taken to have a Serbian burger, this is “like a burger but bigger and better” which turned out to be near the truth, it was big. Then we went on a tour of Belgrade, we saw steel factories, bike repair shops, Tito’s train and grave. To finish off the night we walked through a shopping mall and saw all the “fashion shops”. By three in the morning we were knackered and ready for bed in fact falling asleep on our feet. Our host took pity on us and took us back to his flat. After a sleepless night it was up and, after a round of mutual photo taking, off on my way to to Sophia.

My stay in Belgrade was in its own way fun but I have come to the conclusion that I missed out. Every second rally team I have met in Istanbul has told me that in their humble opinion the best looking women in all of Europe live in Belgrade. All I can say is that the steel factories looked pretty fine and Tito’s train though now a bit rusty was a very fine train indeed.

On the road to Bulgaria and Sophia I passed a massive but long extinct volcano. Not to long extinct as it had that classic Japanese volcano look. Shortly after this the countryside turned to mountain and I found myself driving through a very impressive looking gorge with a sheer drop on my side of the road, I did my best to look straight ahead. Every now and again there would be a tunnel, these were largely unlit, passing through them from bright sunlight even with headlights on was heady mix of sudden blindness and terror. All I could do was to point the car in what I thought was the right direction and take up a sudden belief in the guiding hands of monkey faeries.

Out of the gorge and through mountains to a huge flat plane surrounded by distant blue misty mountains. Tolkien might have designed the map of Bulgaria. Passing through the boarder was a breeze, passport stamped, seven day road pass bought car filled with cheap Bulgarian petrol and off I go to Sophia.

Budapest take two

Sat, 21 Jul 2012 15:58:43 +0100

Budapest was as ever charming in a slightly shabby way and there is a serious glut of glamours looking women with small dogs walking around town. Audrey Hepburn would have felt very much at home here.

When I arrived I had no local currency so headed to the nearest cash point and withdrew far to much. Three hundred and fifty HUF to the £ means I now have a serious looking wad of cash which nobody seams to accept in exchange. Probably need to find a main branch bank or return to Budapest to be intimidated by the beautiful women again, this would not be a bad thing.

Lunch consisted of flat fish with fried potatoes followed by cheese cake and coffee. It was cheap and delicious. Without a plan and very little time I asked the waiters, who as things go in Budapest was also gorgeous, what I should see before I leave. She suggested the The Hero’s Square.

The walk there and back must have been three miles or so but in the heat it felt more like six, but it was well worth it even though I found the square to be a bit grandiose.

Back in the the car I headed south to Serbia and Belgrade.

Hero’s Square, Budapest. Name given to me by a waitress...

Sat, 21 Jul 2012 15:27:15 +0100

Hero’s Square, Budapest. Name given to me by a waitress and not checked.

In Sofia

Fri, 20 Jul 2012 04:40:27 +0100

Setting off for Istanbul from Sofia shortly. I’ll have a quick look around Sofia first. Internet access has been difficult to find or too costly so I have been unable to keep the blog updated. This is probably my fault as I have seen many McDonalds but have found it more or less impossible to make myself stop. Will update shortly.

Budapest

Wed, 18 Jul 2012 11:39:08 +0100

In Budapest for a spot of lunch and a quick look around.

To the Moon and beyond

Wed, 18 Jul 2012 08:42:23 +0100

Now this may sound fantastical and indeed it is but, while breakfasting on chicken soup, I’m reading “How Apollo got to the Moon”, courtesy of David Stevenson, in preparation for my next adventure. All adventures have to be impractical to a degree and flying to the moon is certainly that. Join the Adventurists space mission to find out more. Laugh you may but dreams are made of such nonsense. Ending this post with a titter. :-)

Bratislava

Tue, 17 Jul 2012 23:47:00 +0100

Finely made it to Bratislava and a hotel so that I can take a shower and improve my general odour. Bratislava looks beautiful at night with a huge cream coloured castle lit up in the dark over looking the old city centre.

Sorry Austria and in particular Vienna I have not forgotten your charms and I felt a pull to your fantastic cream cakes as I passed you by but I have a bigger cake to slice, I’ll be back some time soon I hope.

So far I have covered around 1000 miles which would amount to about 10% of the journey done in less than three days of travel but this is the easy part over metalled roads. One day off for the Czechout party and two half days due to the Festival of Slow on Saturday and a hangover on Tuesday (see Czechout party) so more like two days of travelling. Mileage covered per day will fall drastically as the roads get worse.

The rally has already seen one casualty, team @KhanKhanVan were taken out or rather rear ended by a French driver only a few miles short of the Czechout party. They are all fine but the car is a right off, really hard luck for a great team from the RAF.

Tigger the car though she looks very cute and harmless is proving to have the drinking habits of a Russian brothel keeper. If I push her over about 60 mph she only does 200 miles to a tank. Keep to 60 and you get 250 miles, still not great but from now on that is the speed at which I will be driving, when I can.

I plan to take a quick look around Bratislava and perhaps have lunch in Budapest tomorrow but I have no plans as to where I will be sleeping. Should be in Turkey before Friday and it is then that the adventure begins for me, that is I have never been to eastern Turkey or any parts further east. Train whistle sound here or TOOT TOOT.

Whoops

Tue, 17 Jul 2012 12:38:30 +0100

Some how I managed to end up in the wrong country, nice to see Germany again but I was aiming for Austria. All good now and on my way to Vienna.

The Czech Republic is beautiful and the rain was good enough to stop for the Czechout party. As countries go the Czech Republic is almost perfect, it just requires a coastline.

Czechout party

Tue, 17 Jul 2012 07:39:29 +0100

Great party, great people. Feeling pretty bad now. No more to say apart from the inevitable never again, at least not right now.

Across Germany

Tue, 17 Jul 2012 07:36:00 +0100

So I’m now in the Czech Republic. Germany, west of Frankfurt you were damp, no you were bloody wet, however to the east you put on one of the best displays of clouds and cloud types I have ever seen, multi-hued and set in a blue sky and best of all you gave me sunshine. Good work Germany I hope the rest of Europe can equal your meteorology.

The Czech Republic is so far incredibly beautiful but also pretty wet. Let it metal your heart Blighty you are not alone in all this rain.

Launched and on the way

Sun, 15 Jul 2012 06:19:00 +0100

Saturday’s Mongol Rally launch went well, I got to meet several of the teams despite the wonderfully large amount of rain and picked up my carnet de passage which I need to allow me to drive through Iran.

Along the way some interesting facts came to light, it turns out Goodwood is the only race course in the world suited to racing fish. I also learned that the number one sport in Mongolia is mud wrestling, pretty girls like to sing about horses and mobility trolleys can do 70 mph in the rain.

At sone point in the proceedings it was decided that we were never going to have quite enough rain so we might as well launch with what we already had and be thankful for it. So of we all set off in a disorderly line heading east and into the sun. I believe one car burnt out it’s clutch and did not get off the Goodwood race track, at least not in a timely fashion.

Four hundred miles and several hours later, after sleeping under the clouds just outside Aachen, it is still raining and I could not even point in the general direction of the sun. Keeping dry has become a waste of time, so I’m trying for a less wet look. I should be in Klenova tonight for the European launch and the Czechout party.

So it starts, in a wet field in west Sussex.

Fri, 13 Jul 2012 14:33:14 +0100

So it starts, in a wet field in west Sussex.

On The Road

Thu, 12 Jul 2012 13:37:35 +0100

I’ve been running around doing last minute shopping and packing preparing to set off tomorrow to start the Mongol Rally.

So excited I could not sleep last night, the last time I felt like this I was 13 on Christmas Eve. Time slowed down for me during the last few days which have really dragged by. No doubt it will speed up again and I’ll be back home before I’ve got used to the adventure. Such is life.

Wish me luck and please sponsor me using this….

CHARITY PAGE

Track a Yak

Fri, 29 Jun 2012 23:23:00 +0100

During the Mongol rally I will have with me a spot tracker. This should allow friends and family or you to see my current location, more accurately, where I have been for the last seven days.

The tracker relies on batteries and a clear view of the appropriate GPS and messaging satellites, given these it should work. Click on the following link to see my location.

Track My Spot

Alternatively you can look at The Adventurists team tracking site. This should also work well but relies on me sending SMS messages updating my position. This will only happen if I remember and will require a mobile network. These are both things that can not be wholly relied on but if the tracker is not working then this should serve as a fallback.

Team Tracking

Note: These go live on the 14th of July.

A Folly?

Pointless folly? Not if you make a donation to charity. Please donate as much as you can at this……..

CHARITY PAGE

Ancient Secrets

Thu, 28 Jun 2012 19:49:06 +0100

In the ancient heart of the Pamir there is an even more ancient secret, a hidden valley, the location of which was forgotten long before its recall, such is its mystery. Those who inhabit this valley are said to be blessed with eternal life and happiness, never have they known fear or want.

We have all heard stories of this secret place, the Greeks called it Atlantis, in the Bible it is Eden others have called it Utopia or Shangri-La. Kubla Khan who knew it as Xanadu may have been the last to give it a name and know its location.

After years of searching out and reading ancient manuscripts, many of which are but fragments written in ancient and forgotten tongues and many more years pawing over maps and satellite data I now know the location of this mysterious valley and its true name.

In August of this very year I intend to mount an expedition to this mythic place, this paradise, this Boogie Wonderland.

Here, built from the three most basic of elements Earth, Wind and Fire you can see for yourself this amazing place brought to life through the medium music.

CLICK HERE TO SEE THIS MYSTRY SOLVED

Preparations for the rally are coming along well. It’s all...

Sat, 09 Jun 2012 11:29:00 +0100

Preparations for the rally are coming along well.

It’s all for charity.

Legends of the Pamir

Tue, 05 Jun 2012 16:09:00 +0100

I came across this on the internet while researching the Pamir. It is a very common legend that I have heard several times and each time it has been about a different country. I have even used it myself to refer to my home county of Cumbria. All the same I like it and who knows it may have originated in the Pamir.

When God created the world, he asked all the people to form a line so that he could distribute the lands of the earth to them.

Now everyone knows that the Pamiri is not big, he is very polite and does not use his elbows. So the Pamiri representative found himself at the end of the line.

When it was his turn, God looked surprised: “It seems I miscalculated,” he said. “I don’t have any land left for you.”

The Pamiri began to cry – and everyone knows that when a Pamiri cries, even God cries too.

God put his arm around the Pamiri. “It was my fault,” he said. “Actually, I do have one little piece of land left that I was going to keep for myself as my garden. But since I made such a foolish mistake I will give it to you. It is called Badakhshan.”

I also very much like this one.

When God created man, he gave him a life of thirty years. Man was not happy with this and complained to God.

God replied that He had already allocated life to all living beings – to give man a longer life He would have to take years from the life of other animals. Man insisted.

So God gave man ten more years from the donkey, ten from the dog and ten from the monkey.

That is why man lives without care until thirty; then he begins to work like a donkey; after ten more years he starts to fight like a dog; and his last ten years are spent playing games with his grandchildren.

They just keep on coming.

When God created the world, he did not make a monkey. The monkey came about in this way:

In the first days of the world, a woman had baked a flat loaf of bread. Just then a poor man knocked at her door. She let him in but did not want to share her bread with him and so she sat on it. After a while the poor man left.

When the woman got up the flat bread stuck to her and she had been changed into a monkey because of her meanness. Since then the bottom of the monkey looks like a flat loaf.

And…

Luqman-i Hakim was a wise man who had a reputation as a healer. One day a man complained to him of a headache. Luqman-i Hakim told him it was the result of old age.

Another man complained of a pain in his legs. Luqman-i Hakim again answered, that it is caused by old age.

Yet another started to tell Luqman-i Hakim about a pain in his stomach. Again, the diagnosis was old age. The man became angry with Luqman-i Hakim and told him his advice was useless and he was a fool.

Luqman-i Hakim answered him: “If you were not an old man you would not speak these words.”

Credit to Robert Middleton http://www.pamirs.org